Journal entry by Barbara Bradley — Apr 1, 2013

First things first, Katie is doing well. We were a little discouraged exactly one week after her clear EEG. About every 7-10 days, I have seen Katie’s pupils do their dilating and constricting business. I am not sold on these being seizures. Out of 2 neurologists, her brain surgeon and 3 eye doctors, only one has even thought this. Maybe it is but we aren’t seeing anything else and we never saw this during all the seizure types we saw before the first surgery. Granted, it is something and I don’t know what but I am not convinced they are seizures. I have not gone back to Duke. We are scheduled to see her local neuro in a couple weeks and she will go back to Duke in June and see her doctors there and have another EEG. Until I see something more or they become a lot more frequent I just don’t see the need for testing right now. I just can’t see myself sitting up in the hospital days on end hoping to see something. 

We met with a speech therapist that specializes in feeding therapy this morning. I liked her and she thinks Katie can make progress with outpatient therapy. I just happened to see in the newspaper a few weeks ago about this new clinic. They are right down the street from us. With summer near we will have more time to work yet another therapy into our week. 

I’ll just jump right in head first; my children have embarrassed the snot out of me this weekend. Saturday night we went for ice cream after dinner. It’s one of the few treats we all like. Nathan gets one scoop in a cone and likes them to put sprinkles on top for “hair” and candy “eyes” to look like a person. I know he has gotten this many times but usually the “hair” sprinkles are multi-colored. This time they gave him chocolate sprinkles on top of chocolate ice cream. I had gone and sat on a bench with Katie before Nathan got his cone. As he rounded the corner with cone in hand he loudly announces, “Look! They made me a black woman! See!!!”. Yes, baby, I do see that. Thank you for sharing….with everyone.

And then there was Easter Sunday…In an effort to help her teachers potty train, we have recently been trying pull-ups on Katie. The pro is that they can be pulled up and down like underwear. The con is that they don’t hold much more than a dribble. Dressed in our Easter Sunday best, off we went as guests and visitors of a new church. We made it through most of the service with Katie taking turns sitting on my lap and then with Billy and back again. Things were fine until they weren’t. Suddenly I began to smell a toot. I was sure in the moment it was only a toot but I have been changing diapers forever so I think I am a little immune to the smell. 

About three fourths of the way through the service, the smell was not letting up. As Katie hopped down from my lap for the umpteenth time I noticed the white flowers on the front of my dress were no longer white. Well, poo. I gathered my purse under one arm and Katie under the other and fled the sanctuary. I settled in the lobby just on the outside of where the service was being held. I started to locate a bathroom but realized I only had a pull-up with me and no wipes. Neither one was going to save me. I nervously paced back and forth a bit in front of a couple other parents of crying, young children that were also looking for refuge in the lobby. 

I took one sly peek inside Katie’s skirt and decided to leave well enough alone. I though it best to send Billy a text LETS GO. He received this during the final prayer and came out with Nathan seconds later. Then it happens. I exchanged a knowing look with Billy and began to lead my daughter out to the van to change her. No sooner did I turn around when I hear an older gentleman say, “You dropped something”. I looked down and made an audible gasp. I could not have been more shocked if there had been a dead body. Said dookey had dislodged itself from that useless &(&%^* pull-up and scooted its way down Katie’s inner thigh only to settle in a pile right in the church lobby. Right by the exit.

The lobby where in approximately 2.5 minutes a sanctuary full of hungry Methodists were about to spring forth. I could not have been more embarrassed if I had shimmied topless down the center isle of the sanctuary. All I could do was wave at my husband, and then make a gesture toward the pile in question. Then I made a decision. I grabbed the car keys right from his hand and announced that he deal with it. Honestly, they are lucky Billy was there. If I had been by myself I would have blamed the Easter bunny, hoisted my little shitter under one arm and ran like the wind. Each man for himself. RUN!! 

By the time I got to the van I was doubled over into an hysterical, laughing, crying, snorting, uncontrolled fit. You know that kind; I could not even stand up straight. I was covered in poo juice and my five year old daughter was now naked from the waist down in the back of the parking lot staring at me. Nathan was very concerned by this point. “Mommy, are you okay? Are you laughing or crying?” Billy gets to the van by this point. I didn’t dare ask about the pile but he was muttering under his breath and shaking his head. All I could get out through my tears was, “Guess Katie didn’t like that church.” I don’t think that will be a problem. I don’t think anyone will ever invite us to church again. I can’t say I blame them. We are not allowed to speak of this again.