In my last update, I needed all prayer hands on deck. Katie was really struggling with seizures and side effects from medications. Change a med, lower a med, try a new med. Seizures. Exhausting is what it has been. Today, I’m tip-toeing softly with all fingers and toes crossed. The new medication zonegran (a hybrid of topamax) has been a game-changer. (knock on wood, sign of the cross, not spoken allowed….shhhhhh…) I know I sound dramatic but I’ve been playing this game of life for a while now and I say my prayers and hope for the best but must remain cautiously optimistic. If you have read even a third of my blog, you can understand.

In the month of May Katie had 31 seizures. Thirty one. She had been at 1 every 7-10 days prior so all this toxic medication levels, elevated liver enzymes….yada yada. On May 17th she had 6 that day and I was messaging the neurology nurse and working on a game plan. She started the new medicine and after about 3 days on it, she hasn’t had a seizure since. (sign of the cross..shhhh…) That said, we are still lowering the dosing of one of her meds that is still at toxic levels and we still need to wean another medication because we don’t want her on more that 3 seizure meds. I don’t want her on that much medication either. She is still adjusting and it seems like she hits a wall mid-morning after taking her meds. Yet, it is much easier to work through these adjustments without seizures.

Enough of that. We had a great, long Memorial Day weekend and celebration of Nathan’s 16th birthday. Lucky boy will learn to appreciate me giving birth on such an awesome weekend. Am I right? My in-laws came in town. We went go-karting, played arcade games, cooked out, ate out and his dad took him to the Nascar race. It was a great weekend. I know it is clique’ but I just can’t believe I have a 16 year old. WHAT?! I am far too young and hip to have such a grown son. He has really grown – transformed during the pandemic. He went from a scrawny “snack-size” to big “man-size” overnight. He went from 5’7″ and 120 lbs to 6′ and 180 lbs in the past year. For real, y’all. I now have to look at the jeans coming out of the drier to know if they are his or Billy’s. Crazy.

I have said this before but will say time and time again. Nathan is one special boy. Of course, I know I’m mom and he is my first baby but he is a pretty cool kid. He is loyal and kind. An old soul. Quiet confidence. Compassionate. Empathetic. He is now an incoming Junior. He is just a few checkboxes away from earning his Eagle rank in Boy Scouts. He isn’t sure what he wants to be when he grows up but knows it will involve cars. I know it will all work itself out. God has plans for him. After all, he has plans for the rest of us too.

Yet, here I am with eyes closed, fingers and toes crossed and head bowed. Prayers for continued relief from seizures and medication adjustments. Prayers for today. Prayers for tomorrow.

I’ve gotten pretty good at living in today. Today is now. Today is present. If you live in yesterday, you feel regret. If you live in tomorrow, you feel anxiety. Live in today. Live in the present. Live in now.