Happy New Year! Welcome, 2021. I admit I didn’t think we would make it to a new year. March was like 10 months long…. Am I right?!! I tread a bit lightly. That said, we got this. I don’t know what’s ahead anymore than you do but I’m feeling positive and choosing to be hopeful in this new year. Every minute of every day in every year we get that gift….a reset. Just like that. Wake up and Do better. Make good choices. Be positive. Be happy. Be hopeful. Be kind.

I’ll be the first to admit; I was winning 2020 from January til about mid March. Life was good. Billy’s job took us on a cruise. It was glorious to be on vacation with just the two of us. That never happens…ever. Then came February – Make a Wish trip to Disney. What’s better than that? Like…nothing…except perhaps the solo cruise with my husband….sigh….

Yet, here we are. March to now has been super annoying and disappointing and scary and exhausting and stressful and a lot more annoying. That said, we are well. It is okay. We had a small Thanksgiving with just my in-laws. Then came Christmas. Two weeks before winter break we got the COVID. Who knows how. We are super careful with masking and hands and social distancing…the whole sha-bang. Remember health class? Abstinence is the only 100% way to go so unless you become a recluse or build a bunker…..there is a chance you will get it.

Billy woke up and felt a cold coming on so he got tested because he knew work would want him to before returning to work and he just didn’t want to take the chance of exposing anyone. We kinda all got stuffy and congested at the same time. Low and behold he was positive. Billy had mostly chest congestion, Nathan was stuffy, I had a runny nose and lost my sense of smell (which is beyond weird by the way)…..and Katie had a runny nose and red eyes for like two days. We are thankful and blessed. It was all pretty uneventful for us; however, we quarantined ourselves at the beach for Christmas instead of seeing family. I have to admit it wasn’t the worst thing in the world to do. We spent Christmas walking the shore, eating chili and chocolate chip cookies, and playing dominoes. Not at bad way to go.

Katie. My lovely Katie. In true Katie fashion, she did not have the best Christmas break. She loves to get sick, be admitted to the hospital or have surgery during the holidays….you pick the holiday, school break or vacation, but typically near Thanksgiving or Christmas. I don’t know. She’s in charge of our family so what can I know? I just go with the flow.

Travel back in time a couple months……We went to Duke in October for her annual checkup with neurology. Low and behold, her bloodwork levels for one of her meds was really high…really high. We looked at her past few blood checks and the number had been trending upward but she was doing well so they told us that it is what it is….if they are doing well and other numbers are fine then we just monitor her. We discussed her levels and her behavior and decided to try decreasing the dose. Crazy enough, after that appointment things went down hill. All was well until a month later and she started having more seizures and her coordination was terrible and her eyes were moving uncontrolled. Not fun. Long story short, she spent most of Christmas in her stroller because she was so out of it. I followed up with them after Christmas and they decided we would decrease another med (she’s on 3 seizure meds and two of the meds can work together to make the levels even higher). Basically the combination of meds are toxic in her system and causing these issues. We can’t just lower them overnight because it may aggravate her seizures, so everyday when I give her the meds I’m basically poisoning her. At least that’s how I feel. Slow and steady. Today she finally seems to be turning a corner. Thank God because virtual, bullshit “learning” started back today. Yay!!

Now that we made to a new year, let’s have a little fun. I kept a “diary” of our first 90 days of quarantine. I know we are not out of the woods yet. We have ways to go but let’s go back in time and remember where we were.

I give to you The Quarantine Chronicles…..

March 16, 2020 Congratulations! If you are reading this you have survived Day 1 of Quarantine. Tonight’s wine is a decadent red blend that combines bold fruit flavors with just a tinge of antibacterial. Take a moment to relax and enjoy your wine because you get to do this all over again tomorrow. Word on the street this could last until August.

March 17, 2020 Congratulations! If you are reading this you have survived Day 2 of COVID-19 Quarantine. Virtual school officially starts tomorrow for my high school freshman. I’m not sure if this is going to help or hurt but we are about to find out. Much to his dismay it actually starts at the same bell schedule. No more sleeping til 9am. Sorry Buddy. Katie on the other hand, has worksheets and we are doing lessons on her iPad. Not too bad actually but it’s early days. She narrowly missed stabbing me with a sharp Ticonderoga #2 but she also bit me so there’s that. I’m still recovering from yesterday when I strained a muscle doing the cha cha slide.

On to the main reason for my post, today’s drink comes from the luck of the Irish. Don’t go kissing anybody but you can share a Lucky Leprechaun shot with them. It’s a fruity shot that a leprechaun might enjoy on a Tropical beach vacation (pre-quarantine of course). Part coconut, part pineapple, part rum…all good.

March 18, 2020 Congratulations! If you are reading this you have survived Day 3 of Quarantine. (Let’s begin with some sage advice; if you are pregnant right now or in the near future please don’t name your baby Corona or Quarantini or the like. Just don’t.) I don’t know about you but the wheels are starting to come off. I filed a grievance with HR (aka me) against my daughter for taking off her bra mid-lesson and having a meltdown during bath. Unacceptable! Today, we learned our lessons via chrome book and iPad. My personal favorite was teaching math and fine motor skills with wine corks. I’ve been waiting for this moment to shine. I’ve been preparing for this for quite awhile.

I can’t leave without the drink of the day. Let’s go with a light, buttery Chardonnay. It’s crisp with notes of pear and is a tribute to the warming weather. Stay safe. No really, stay safe. If necessary lock yourself in the bathroom. They eventually find you but you can usually have a few minutes of solitude.

March 19, 2020 Congratulations! If you are reading this, you have survived Day 4 of Quarantine. I know this is hard to fathom but we haven’t even made it through a whole week yet. Katie kept her clothes on but she drew on my arm, licked me, and reset the fridge somehow to make it ask for my USB? Jokes on me cuz I barely know what that means and I certainly didn’t think my fridge was smarter than me…than I?? So glad I’m homeschooling since I barely have any brain cells left.

Nathan is kinda enjoying this homeschooling. He told me this morning he didn’t have time to talk because he had a meeting. Well, la tee da. Go to your meeting. I have to admit not having to wake up with the chickens has not been terrible. It’s been kinda nice to have the kids playing together. I heard them cracking up and Katie was knocking on his door. He would answer and then pretend to fart on her Hey, they were out of my hair for a bit so fart away kids. Drink of the day, Corona. A nice cold beer is always a great choice.

March 20, 2020 Congratulations! If you are reading this, you have survived Day 5 of the Quarantine. So how’s it going? I’m still feeling this whole thing out. In only a matter of 10 minutes with both kids up, Katie had Nathan in a chokehold. It was a day of stop-touching- your-brother. Please don’t lick me. Put that down. Don’t eat the play doh. Don’t say mommy. Stop saying mommy. After saying Mommy 4,347 times and having a meltdown, I made her take a nap. That’s right. Homeschool boss says nap time is on the schedule today.

In other very exciting news, I told Nathan he could sleep in a bit but as the hour approached 10am I went to wake him. His entire floor was covered in LEGO’s and he’s sound asleep. He takes after me and walks in his sleep. He didn’t remember a thing. That poor boy gets all of my worst traits On the bright side he has been building all day. The drink of the day is one of my personal favorites the Moscow mule. Ginger beer, lime juice and vodka.

March 23, 2020 Congratulations if you are reading this you have survived Day 1 of week two Quarantine. I’m not gonna keep up with consecutive days at this point because this may go on for who knows how long. Plus, I don’t want to be like one of those moms you meet at the bus stop that tells you little Joey is 47 months old. I’m like

uh…does he still poop his diaper or is he in grad school cuz I don’t really like math.

Heee heee, you’re so funny. No, silly he’s…..Stop.

Nevermind. Stop talking. We can’t be friends. Go away. I’m an introvert.

The governor announced school is out until May 15th. MAY FIFTEENTH Twenty Twenty. Remember when we were all like “yay 2020 is gonna rock! It’s like a totally new decade.” Totally, dude. Well, we were wrong. Giddy up, cuz it just got real y’all. Today was similar to last week but in the next few days virtual learning is going to ramp up. Nathan has been building with legos all day and Katie has asked for snacks all day. I’m not your personal chef. Ok, actually I am.

Nathan did a great job playing with her this morning. He connects his phone to her radio Bluetooth and they have a dance party. He made her a “Katie’s Quarantine Playlist” full of Cha cha slide, the chicken dance, and Who let the dogs out?. She is having a tough time because she loves to go. Anywhere. But she can’t. The best part of her day was getting to FaceTime with her Pastor Paul.

Stay safe out there. Who am I kidding? Stay safe IN there. Remember how cute they were as babies? It’s not luck, it’s science. It’s so you don’t eat your young.

March 24, 2020 Congratulations! If you are reading this, you have survived Day 2 of your second week of Quarantine. A Stay-at-home order was announced today for us here in NC for 21 days. Basically, the things you are already doing as suggested are now required. Oh snap. For me personally, as long as I can get to my prescriptions, groceries, doctor appointments, and my booze….I’m golden. Which has me thinking about a little game…Would you rather…be quarantined for 6 months or do a week of hard time?….a week on Naked and Afraid….live vegan for a year….move to a tiny house …..shave your eyebrows. Honestly, I could do this all night. The drink of the day is one of my favorite red wines Apothic Inferno. (Message me for my address for your shipping ease) It’s aged in whisky barrels for 60 days.

March 25, 2020 Congratulations! If you are reading this you have survived Week 2, Day 3 of Quarantine. Just when I thought Katie and I were getting into a groove, she didn’t want to learn squat today. Oh well, I’m not a miracle worker. There was also a lot of “don’t throw your placemat on the floor”, “don’t touch your brother”, “don’t lick me”, “no more snacks”, “can we learn something today”. At one point she got out the microphone and sang the National Anthem at the top of her lungs then pretended she was an announcer. Please welcome….. Mommy!!!! WHOOOOHOOOO! Please welcome Bubby!!! YAYYYYY!!! She may have a career as a game show host.

So, I got out today. It was legal. I went to CVS and the drive thru was ridiculous so I went inside and braved the world. The entire floor was taped out by six feet sections. So we all stood on our spaces and moved forward pace by pace. We wore masks. We didn’t speak. We looked at the floor….at our squares. It felt very Hunger Games. On a good note, the weather was great today so I took a nice walk in the neighborhood. I saw some comforting sights. There were women jogging in sync six feet apart of course, two guys were siting on a porch playing the guitar, and families were out riding bikes and coloring the sidewalks with chalk. Stay the course. Hoping and praying this is all over soon. Tonight – drink of your choosing. Choose well.

March 26, 2020Congratulations! If you are reading this you have survived Week 2, Day 4 of Quarantine. I still haven’t quite accepted this new normal yet here we are. Katie had a more productive day so that is a plus. We worked on writing skills and math. Nathan even did some teaching. He taught her to say coronavirus. There was a lot of giggling so I don’t think much was accomplished but I was able to get a few things done.

Highlight of the day – I scored some toilet paper and one roll of paper towels I was beginning to think the USA was all out. I was secretly cursing all the hoarders with runny do-do. I’m not proud. It’s as if the universe is telling us Sorry, folks, stay home and now you shall be homesteaders. Buy a cow, build a coup for some chickens , plant a garden, hunt, gather…make fire ! Wash clothes in the river? See, I’m set up to fail already. I don’t hunt or gather. I can not keep plants alive much less a garden. I can barely sew on a button. I got nothin’. No useful skills. I don’t want to live in the 1900’s I need my instapot and my air fryer and my washer and dryer!! I like running water and food from the store AND toilet paper. And TargetI want to live back in days when this great nation under God had TOILET PAPER Pity party over. Are you wearing purple today? Today is National Epilepsy Awareness Day. Knock on wood but we have been in the process of increasing one of Katie’s seizure medications over the last 3 weeks and we are seeing improvement

March 30, 2020 Congratulations! If you are reading this, you have entered your 3rd week of Quarantine. How’s everyone doing? The Bradley home is taking it day by day. We are actually experts at that. I’ve learned with Katie to get some learning in right after breakfast before we start annoying the living daylights out of each other. Even then she has a very short attention span. After two worksheets she informed me “all done homework, good job Katie”.

I’ve just given in to letting her eat the limited edition Mickey Mouse goldfish for breakfast every day. Whatever. She really thinks I’m her personal chef. Even when I’m trying to be patient and do as I’m told she plays games with me. Katie, do you want a sandwich? No, pizza (bakes pizza) Here’s your pizza. No fanks.. WHAT?? Want ham-anger with cheese and goldfish.

Today I have uttered the phrases, I’m telling Dad!!!!!!, Do not lick me!!!, and Keep your shirt on!!! As a sidebar, we are all about to find out just how ugly we are. In a few more weeks, I’m gonna see what my natural hair color is….haven’t seen it in about 20 years so this could get interesting. Stay safe out there. Drink of the day, margarita – no salt!

April 3, 2020 Let’s do this. If you are reading this, you have survived week 3 of Quarantine. I’m aiming for weekly posts at this point. My life is not that exciting these days. How is everyone doing? You know what you get after spending a hour and a half cleaning the blinds and windows in ONE room? Nothing. It’s pretty much unsatisfying and thankless. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. None of the neighbors are walking by saying “hey, have you seen the Bradley’s blinds?” Nope.

Pretty much same routine around here. Trying to feed and educate the young. I’m starting to lose track of time. I think we finally made it to April. January…. ah January. A time of renewal and self reflection. I went on two trips in January. Life was looking good. March came and I joined a gym and worked out everyday for two weeks. Then it all went to hell.

Grandma, tell us again about the time someone got cooties and breathed on everyone. Remember? Lots of people got sick so the King said everyone should stay home and grow their own food but not to worry because America was great. (But conveniently some of the king’s men sold off some stock right before the cooties came to America) Then mommy went crazy because she was tired of zoom meetings and teaching us and then the world ran out of toilet paper??? Remember, Grandma?? Please tell us again.

So I’ve been wondering this week. What are our hygiene requirements? Other than washing our hands? Do I have to wear real clothes? Shave? One thing I know, we are all gonna be looking a bit rough by the time this is over. I’ve decided to start training Katie to cut hair. She needs to start earning her keep anyway. Stayed tuned. Let us know if you need a trim. Stay safe. Drink of the day is vodka and soda. Stop wasting my time.

May 1, 2020 Alright it’s been a bit so let’s get to it. If you are reading this you have survived week…ugh..47 of your Quarantine? I have lost track but consider yourselves survivors. How is everyone? I’m doing Friday night right now. This includes a coloring book, wine, Naked and Afraid (don’t judge you know I have a weird obsession), then it will be time for Dateline. My goal in life right now is to eat Mexican food in a real restaurant. That’s it. I promise I will never say it’s too people-y outside ever again.

Tonight’s post is in honor of my sweet son Nathan. We have been learning life skills during these quarantine days. Lord knows I don’t do math so I shall teach him how to remove a stain or make meatloaf. He’s been doing yard work, dishes, and laundry. He’s helped Billy work on the roof of our deck and paint. This process has made me chuckle for sure. Let me tell you it’s an open slate to work with.

I’ll leave you with this: a lesson in laundry. Nathan has been doing his laundry for a couple weeks. This has included his sister’s laundry. Not because I asked him to but because he is emotionally intelligent enough to know that she can’t do her own laundry and it would be helpful to me if he took that over. He called out to me yesterday from the laundry room and said “now I know what these slits are for”. He had freshly folded and hung all of Katie’s sports bras on hangers. It was all I could do not to laugh. Yes, sweet boy, that’s what those slits could be for. Drink of the night is a shot of vodka. (in freezer on the second shelf)

May 8th, 2020 Congratulations! If you are reading this you have survived 60 days of Coronavirus Quarantine. First off, I’m sorry for what I said under quarantine arrest. I promise to go back to puppies and rainbows and that one sparkly unicorn You know that one with the glitter that shoots right out of his butt. Yup.

Starting…tomorrow tonight I’m still feeling blah about all this so here you go.Are you ready for normal? I am. Things are going to start loosening up soon in NC but I must admit it doesn’t make a lot of sense. Malls are going to open. I’m not sure how different this is from shopping at Walmart or Target which have been open. I don’t get it….but I could get a spray tan if I wanted to but I can’t get my haircut in my tiny, one room salon with just me and my hairdresser.

Again, many of you are ready for normal. Bless your hearts. That’s adorable. By the end of the week you will be assigned to your Hunger Games District. There are 12 districts in total…well actually 13 but that’s a long story. From the top, District 1 makes luxury items for the Capital so they are deemed to be important and are the wealthiest. District 2 manufactures weapons and are also upperclass. Moving down the line, the lower districts include District 11 with agriculture and District 12 is coal. Yep, you guessed it; your class rank and wealth are pretty much squat by the time you get to the Coal District. Sorry Charlie, you get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit. If you would like to express a concern about your given District, please contact…..ugh.. the man…woman in charge….I’m sure they/them can help. Eh, I don’t know. Pick a pronoun and hope for the best. Its really gonna suck if no one is in charge or knows anything but I’m sure it’s fine.

Good luck, friends. May the odds be in your favor. To all the beautiful mamas out there, Happy Mother’s Day It may look different this year. Gosh, I hope we don’t have to shop for and cook our own dinner. Eh, sorry. This may not be your best Mother’s Day but it will be……Okay-ish. Yay you! Have more vodka… make it a double.