Posted on by A Laughing Matter

Quiet Quitting

This buzz term is popular in 2023. What is it? What does it mean to you?

There are two schools of thought. Some believe it to mean divorcing your ego from what you do for a living and not striving for perfection. Setting boundaries and simply doing what needs to be done but not allowing yourself to fall victim of workaholism. A trap of making yourself available at all times to work that doesn’t serve your greater purpose; that which doesn’t support your mental health, your family, or your physical health and wellbeing.

The other philosophy about this phenomenon or trend really is giving up…quietly. Is it self indulgent? Is it passive aggressive? I suppose it could mean any or all of the above depending on the circumstance.

I’ll tell you what I think (it’s my blog after all). If it’s work related, I think this can be healthy. I think balance is important. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t define this as doing a job half-assed or mediocre. I don’t define it as blaming others. I don’t define it as poor customer service. But doing your job well while setting boundaries and knowing work is only a part of you, not your worth, that I can get behind. It doesn’t define you.

That said, what if it’s about your health. Specifically your weight. Have you given up? Have you tried so many things you’ve accepted being overweight? It “runs in the family” so change isn’t possible? I’ve waited too long. I’m too old. I’m too far gone. I can’t. I don’t know how. I’m embarrassed. I’m ashamed to ask for help. What’s the point? Or the worst in my opinion…and this is going to ruffle some feathers…. is telling yourself its body positivity. You lie and tell yourself that you are confident and “like yourself the way you are”. That’s a bad space to be in. I want you to love yourself while knowing it’s not healthy. While seeking help. While striving for change.

I also know that somewhere in the deep nooks and crannies of your inner voice, you want this. You see my posts. Could I try? Maybe I should reach out.

I’ve helped a lot of people lose a lot of weight. Some only 10 pounds….others 110 pounds. Some teenagers. Some in their 70’s. Some…actually A LOT of middle-aged. Especially women. Hormones are not for the faint of heart.

So what is it you want…deep down. You love your family and friends and they kinda want you around. Show up. Show up to your life again.

I want you to message me right now. You don’t have to comment on my post. Reach out directly. I’m not here to judge. Life is hard but being healthy makes it a lot more enjoyable. (It’s ok if you don’t want to start until January. I get it. BUT these discounts right now are worth reaching out THIS MONTH.)

Posted on by A Laughing Matter

Next Steps

Yesterday I took Katie back to Vanderbilt for a follow-up. We had hoped her PET Scan/EEG would have given more comprehensive data but her condition and prior surgeries make the test difficult to pinpoint anything. We knew this may be the case but I was hoping we might get lucky. As suspected her right frontal lobe isn’t firing as it should. Her case was discussed at conference. Conclusion: More data needed. More testing

Next steps are for the pediatric neurosurgeon and the adult neurosurgeon need to connect after spring break but most likely we are looking at a stereo EEG. This is a more invasive EEG to better pinpoint where the seizures a generating from.

On a fantastic note, She has not had a seizure in 3 1/2 weeks. What a relief. We had gotten back to a place of 20-30 per day so this has been a nice break. A part of me wanted the neurologist to say, “Let’s just put things on hold for now.”But we know the big picture. We have seen time and time again over the past 15 years that she will have a honeymoon period after a procedure or med change. Sometimes they last a few months. Sometimes they last a few years. It is what it is. The RNS procedure is mostly likely going to be what changes her outlook longterm. We are pressing forward and hoping to get the next testing in another month or so.

Today is day three of Spring Break. The boys are working so it’s just me and my shadow. We always have a love/annoy relationship going but after a day long rode trip…..she is on my last nerve. God love her. Bless her heart. Bless my heart. God help me. 5 hours in the van. All day. She napped on the way so lucky me. Headphones in. Crime podcast on. One the way back….not so lucky. She loves to lean forward and pull my hair or pull my seatbelt and try to choke me out. It’s real. All the while laughing hysterically. The other annoyance is she constantly wants to change out her DVD. She has a couple CD holders to organize them and she will flip through and perch the next movie on my shoulder to change it out. It’s like driving with a monkey.

So that’s the scoop. No fun Spring Break for us but hopefully we have lots of seizure free days coming. If you want to read more about her next text click the link below.

Stereoelectroencephalography (SEEG)

SEEG is the surgical implantation of electrodes into the brain in order to better localize the seizure focus. At UPMC, we use robotic assistance with ROSA® to accurately and efficiently place the electrodes for seizure mapping. Dr. Gonzalez was the first epilepsy surgeon in the US to offer SEEG and has performed over 1000 cases. He is also a pioneer of robotic-assisted neurosurgery, which improves accuracy and shortens surgery time.

https://www.neurosurgery.pitt.edu/centers/epilepsy/seeg

Posted on by A Laughing Matter

More Testing

This morning we drove to Vanderbilt children’s hospital. They hooked Katie up to an EEG and then did a metabolic PET scan of the brain. She did well. She always starts getting upset when someone comes in and puts gloves on. She got a quick EEG first and then they gave her an IV to administer the tracer. This is what shows at a cellular level how her brain is functioning.

After we headed to the cafeteria and got her the pizza that she’s been asking for all day. She wasn’t allowed to eat after midnight. I would have been seriously hangry and cranky myself.

I’m not sure how long it will take to get results back. I foresee the next level of testing will be several days in the hospital.

Thank you all for the comments, prayers and well wishes.

Here’s a bit of information about this test. Not an exciting read but I tried to just reference how the test is used for the brain; though this test is used for many other conditions.

What Is a Positron Emission Tomography (PET) Scan?

A PET scan is an imaging test that lets your doctor check for diseases in your body. The scan uses a special dye containing radioactive tracers. Certain organs and tissues absorb the tracer and help your doctor see how well your organs and tissues are working.

A positron emission tomography (PET) scan is an imaging test that allows your doctor to check for diseases in your body.

The scan uses a special dye containing radioactive tracers. These tracers are either swallowed, inhaled, or injected into a vein in your arm depending on what part of the body is being examined. Certain organs and tissues then absorb the tracer.

When detected by a PET scanner, the tracers help your doctor to see how well your organs and tissues are working.

The tracer will collect in areas of higher chemical activity, which is helpful because certain tissues of the body, and certain diseases, have a higher level of chemical activity. These areas of disease will show up as bright spots on the PET scan.

The scan can measure blood flow, oxygen use, how your body uses sugar, and much more.

A PET scan is typically an outpatient procedure, which means you can go about your day after the test is finished.

In the United States, around 2 million PET scans are performed each year, according to Berkley Lab.

Why is a PET scan performed?

Your doctor may order a PET scan to inspect your blood flow; your oxygen intake, or the metabolism of your organs and tissues. PET scans show problems at the cellular level, giving your doctor the best view of complex systemic diseases.

PET scans are most commonly used to detect:

• cancer

• heart problems

• brain disorders , including problems with the central nervous system.

Brain disorders

Glucose is the main fuel of the brain. During PET scans, tracers are “attached” to compounds such as glucose. By detecting radioactive glucose, the PET scan can show which areas of the brain are using glucose at the highest rates.

When a specialist interprets the scan, they can see how the brain is working and check for any irregularities.

How does the PET scan compare to other tests?

PET scans show metabolic changes occurring at the cellular level in an organ or tissue. This is important because diseases often begin at the cellular level. CT scans and MRIs cannot reveal problems at the cellular level.

PET scans can detect very early changes in your cells. CT scans and MRIs can only detect changes later, as a disease alters the structure of your organs or tissues

Posted on by A Laughing Matter · 2 Comments

The Couch

We lived in our North Carolina home almost 18 years. Wow…how is that even possible? We moved to Charlotte from Texas about a year after we got married. Billy accepted a transfer. We put our townhome on the market which sold in 6 days. Six days. Now what?

We knew within a certain radius where we needed to be but had done no research. For the most part we just looked at a map, picked a part of town, loaded a moving truck, and moved across the country. No kids. No home. New city. New life. We lived in an apartment while our home was built. We didn’t have much furniture so we bought a house full….including two green couches.

Here we are years later. We replaced our AC unit and our roof a few months ago. What was fresh and shiny is now looking worn and dated. Don’t even get me started on the carpet. Yes, we actually had carpet in our living room…..dingy, worn, and discolored carpet. Worn from years of pacing back and forth with babies, chasing naked toddlers, and stained from spilled juice cups, years of dog hair and dirty shoes. That said, it was time. Good thing we sold and moved because we needed…a lot… updated paint, floors, updated cabinets and more. And of course, furniture.

A top furniture item to replace is the green couch. Our dingy, green fabric couch with matching loveseat and accompanying 62 coordinating pillows has definitely seen better days. If that couch could talk it would speak of the good days, the better days, the best of days, the not so great days and the absolute worst of days. So take a load off. Take a seat. Be still a quiet bit. 

Take a seat. Come this way. Our couch welcomes every day.

News of pregnancy announcements  shared. Babies nursed hours on end. 
Both naps and sleepless nights...it depends. 

The snuggles and cuddles with family held dear. Cozy date nights required and maybe a beer.

Hurry, grab popcorn and a glass of red wine. Family movie night has begun.
Mommy loves the one with the guy on the run.

Boys building forts and girls not allowed. Sometimes just one. Sometimes a crowd.

Charcoal mask on my face. Paint on my toes. Where's the remote? No one ever seems to know.

Read a book. Write a story. Phone a friend. 
Pay taxes. Check emails. Pay bills. Never ends. 

Writers nook. Make a list. What's for dinner? What to cook?

Stomach flu go away. Go sleep on the couch because you can not stay.

Seizures start. It's my turn to watch.
 You get tomorrow. We each do our part.

Tests results came back. Diagnosis made. 
Breathe deep. Say more prayers from where your head laid.

Work part-time if you have an interest. Instagram posts with lots of Pinterest.

Quiet devotions read. Just take a minute. Lazy coffee mornings with wine for the finish.

Carrying the weight of depression proves too much. 
Such is life. You can't love too much.

Posted on by A Laughing Matter

A week of Hope

Here we are. We made it to Thanksgiving….2020 style but hey, it counts. We survived. Whether you ordered in and celebrated small, had a large, homemade family feast, or cheered your loves virtually, I hope you were able to enjoy this time together. A time to laugh, go back for a second helping and reflect on everything to be Thankful for this year.

Today is officially the first Sunday of Advent: A Week of Hope. My little family of four read the passage for today’s message as we lit the first candle. The candle of hope. What does that word mean to you? HOPE: a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. I feel personally close to this word. This week marks the anniversary of Katie’s first brain surgery. It’s hard to believe it has been a decade ago. When I go back to that time I am so thankful I continued to journal. In the dark, still moments to the bright triumphs of a breakthrough in the form of a smile or a first step. If you are new to my blog or maybe you have only read a few entries, this is a good week to start with and work you way forward.

Happy Thanksgiving

Journal entry by Barbara Bradley — Nov 25, 2010 Happy Thanksgiving! I know this update comes late. Katie had meds due at 11pm so instead of risking waking her and her not going back to sleep I kept her up. I got an email today from either Barnes and Noble or Borders with the subject line: Tomorrow is…

A Laughing Matter's avatar by A Laughing Matter
Posted on by A Laughing Matter

Prepping for surgery #3

Journal entry by Barbara Bradley — Jun 18, 2015

They just took Katie back to the OR. Just like that. Bill suited up in scrubs and followed behind Katie and OR staff. She was in great spirits this morning chattering nonstop. She was telling everyone knock-knock jokes. Me, one the other hand, doesn’t really like that moment watching them leave. I’m excited for change but the now before then is the hard in between.

It’s straight up “Grey’s Anatomy”, medical drama in here today. We were told yesterday that several big surgeries were going on today. After all it is Duke Hospital, so isn’t that always the case. I even joked that there must be conjoined twins. Well, I was right. While waiting to check Katie in I look over and see a family gathered. The mom was holding conjoined twins. Surrounded by miracles today.

We have a pager so when I know more I will update throughout the day.

Posted on by A Laughing Matter

Elevators and fish tanks

Journal entry by Barbara Bradley — Sep 28, 2010

First of all, thank you everyone for all the prayers, support, and kind words. It makes the days easier.

Here’s the scoop…. Although my bags were packed, we are all back home tonight. We met with the pediatric neurosurgeon at Duke Children’s Hospital today. He is hopeful about a hemispherectomy in her condition but stressed we really have to make sure the seizure activity is only coming from the left side. Next steps are meeting the Chief of Neurology and get the testing phase started. The Chief will then be able to present her case to the entire team and reach a consensus.

I share our arrival to Duke Children’s Hospital. If you don’t already know, two of Katie’s favorite things are elevators and fish tanks. Well, walking in to the hospital we see glass elevators like they have at some hotels. If that wasn’t enough, the bottom of the elevator looks in to a huge fish tank! Oh my, we thought she’d lose her mind riding the elevator! We rode up and down about 10 minutes. She would laugh and laugh til I thought she was going to cry. I thought this was a good omen for this stage of our journey.