Posted on by A Laughing Matter

Quiet Quitting

This buzz term is popular in 2023. What is it? What does it mean to you?

There are two schools of thought. Some believe it to mean divorcing your ego from what you do for a living and not striving for perfection. Setting boundaries and simply doing what needs to be done but not allowing yourself to fall victim of workaholism. A trap of making yourself available at all times to work that doesn’t serve your greater purpose; that which doesn’t support your mental health, your family, or your physical health and wellbeing.

The other philosophy about this phenomenon or trend really is giving up…quietly. Is it self indulgent? Is it passive aggressive? I suppose it could mean any or all of the above depending on the circumstance.

I’ll tell you what I think (it’s my blog after all). If it’s work related, I think this can be healthy. I think balance is important. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t define this as doing a job half-assed or mediocre. I don’t define it as blaming others. I don’t define it as poor customer service. But doing your job well while setting boundaries and knowing work is only a part of you, not your worth, that I can get behind. It doesn’t define you.

That said, what if it’s about your health. Specifically your weight. Have you given up? Have you tried so many things you’ve accepted being overweight? It “runs in the family” so change isn’t possible? I’ve waited too long. I’m too old. I’m too far gone. I can’t. I don’t know how. I’m embarrassed. I’m ashamed to ask for help. What’s the point? Or the worst in my opinion…and this is going to ruffle some feathers…. is telling yourself its body positivity. You lie and tell yourself that you are confident and “like yourself the way you are”. That’s a bad space to be in. I want you to love yourself while knowing it’s not healthy. While seeking help. While striving for change.

I also know that somewhere in the deep nooks and crannies of your inner voice, you want this. You see my posts. Could I try? Maybe I should reach out.

I’ve helped a lot of people lose a lot of weight. Some only 10 pounds….others 110 pounds. Some teenagers. Some in their 70’s. Some…actually A LOT of middle-aged. Especially women. Hormones are not for the faint of heart.

So what is it you want…deep down. You love your family and friends and they kinda want you around. Show up. Show up to your life again.

I want you to message me right now. You don’t have to comment on my post. Reach out directly. I’m not here to judge. Life is hard but being healthy makes it a lot more enjoyable. (It’s ok if you don’t want to start until January. I get it. BUT these discounts right now are worth reaching out THIS MONTH.)

Posted on by A Laughing Matter

Next Steps

Yesterday I took Katie back to Vanderbilt for a follow-up. We had hoped her PET Scan/EEG would have given more comprehensive data but her condition and prior surgeries make the test difficult to pinpoint anything. We knew this may be the case but I was hoping we might get lucky. As suspected her right frontal lobe isn’t firing as it should. Her case was discussed at conference. Conclusion: More data needed. More testing

Next steps are for the pediatric neurosurgeon and the adult neurosurgeon need to connect after spring break but most likely we are looking at a stereo EEG. This is a more invasive EEG to better pinpoint where the seizures a generating from.

On a fantastic note, She has not had a seizure in 3 1/2 weeks. What a relief. We had gotten back to a place of 20-30 per day so this has been a nice break. A part of me wanted the neurologist to say, “Let’s just put things on hold for now.”But we know the big picture. We have seen time and time again over the past 15 years that she will have a honeymoon period after a procedure or med change. Sometimes they last a few months. Sometimes they last a few years. It is what it is. The RNS procedure is mostly likely going to be what changes her outlook longterm. We are pressing forward and hoping to get the next testing in another month or so.

Today is day three of Spring Break. The boys are working so it’s just me and my shadow. We always have a love/annoy relationship going but after a day long rode trip…..she is on my last nerve. God love her. Bless her heart. Bless my heart. God help me. 5 hours in the van. All day. She napped on the way so lucky me. Headphones in. Crime podcast on. One the way back….not so lucky. She loves to lean forward and pull my hair or pull my seatbelt and try to choke me out. It’s real. All the while laughing hysterically. The other annoyance is she constantly wants to change out her DVD. She has a couple CD holders to organize them and she will flip through and perch the next movie on my shoulder to change it out. It’s like driving with a monkey.

So that’s the scoop. No fun Spring Break for us but hopefully we have lots of seizure free days coming. If you want to read more about her next text click the link below.

Stereoelectroencephalography (SEEG)

SEEG is the surgical implantation of electrodes into the brain in order to better localize the seizure focus. At UPMC, we use robotic assistance with ROSA® to accurately and efficiently place the electrodes for seizure mapping. Dr. Gonzalez was the first epilepsy surgeon in the US to offer SEEG and has performed over 1000 cases. He is also a pioneer of robotic-assisted neurosurgery, which improves accuracy and shortens surgery time.

https://www.neurosurgery.pitt.edu/centers/epilepsy/seeg

Posted on by A Laughing Matter

More Testing

This morning we drove to Vanderbilt children’s hospital. They hooked Katie up to an EEG and then did a metabolic PET scan of the brain. She did well. She always starts getting upset when someone comes in and puts gloves on. She got a quick EEG first and then they gave her an IV to administer the tracer. This is what shows at a cellular level how her brain is functioning.

After we headed to the cafeteria and got her the pizza that she’s been asking for all day. She wasn’t allowed to eat after midnight. I would have been seriously hangry and cranky myself.

I’m not sure how long it will take to get results back. I foresee the next level of testing will be several days in the hospital.

Thank you all for the comments, prayers and well wishes.

Here’s a bit of information about this test. Not an exciting read but I tried to just reference how the test is used for the brain; though this test is used for many other conditions.

What Is a Positron Emission Tomography (PET) Scan?

A PET scan is an imaging test that lets your doctor check for diseases in your body. The scan uses a special dye containing radioactive tracers. Certain organs and tissues absorb the tracer and help your doctor see how well your organs and tissues are working.

A positron emission tomography (PET) scan is an imaging test that allows your doctor to check for diseases in your body.

The scan uses a special dye containing radioactive tracers. These tracers are either swallowed, inhaled, or injected into a vein in your arm depending on what part of the body is being examined. Certain organs and tissues then absorb the tracer.

When detected by a PET scanner, the tracers help your doctor to see how well your organs and tissues are working.

The tracer will collect in areas of higher chemical activity, which is helpful because certain tissues of the body, and certain diseases, have a higher level of chemical activity. These areas of disease will show up as bright spots on the PET scan.

The scan can measure blood flow, oxygen use, how your body uses sugar, and much more.

A PET scan is typically an outpatient procedure, which means you can go about your day after the test is finished.

In the United States, around 2 million PET scans are performed each year, according to Berkley Lab.

Why is a PET scan performed?

Your doctor may order a PET scan to inspect your blood flow; your oxygen intake, or the metabolism of your organs and tissues. PET scans show problems at the cellular level, giving your doctor the best view of complex systemic diseases.

PET scans are most commonly used to detect:

• cancer

• heart problems

• brain disorders , including problems with the central nervous system.

Brain disorders

Glucose is the main fuel of the brain. During PET scans, tracers are “attached” to compounds such as glucose. By detecting radioactive glucose, the PET scan can show which areas of the brain are using glucose at the highest rates.

When a specialist interprets the scan, they can see how the brain is working and check for any irregularities.

How does the PET scan compare to other tests?

PET scans show metabolic changes occurring at the cellular level in an organ or tissue. This is important because diseases often begin at the cellular level. CT scans and MRIs cannot reveal problems at the cellular level.

PET scans can detect very early changes in your cells. CT scans and MRIs can only detect changes later, as a disease alters the structure of your organs or tissues

Posted on by A Laughing Matter · 2 Comments

The Couch

We lived in our North Carolina home almost 18 years. Wow…how is that even possible? We moved to Charlotte from Texas about a year after we got married. Billy accepted a transfer. We put our townhome on the market which sold in 6 days. Six days. Now what?

We knew within a certain radius where we needed to be but had done no research. For the most part we just looked at a map, picked a part of town, loaded a moving truck, and moved across the country. No kids. No home. New city. New life. We lived in an apartment while our home was built. We didn’t have much furniture so we bought a house full….including two green couches.

Here we are years later. We replaced our AC unit and our roof a few months ago. What was fresh and shiny is now looking worn and dated. Don’t even get me started on the carpet. Yes, we actually had carpet in our living room…..dingy, worn, and discolored carpet. Worn from years of pacing back and forth with babies, chasing naked toddlers, and stained from spilled juice cups, years of dog hair and dirty shoes. That said, it was time. Good thing we sold and moved because we needed…a lot… updated paint, floors, updated cabinets and more. And of course, furniture.

A top furniture item to replace is the green couch. Our dingy, green fabric couch with matching loveseat and accompanying 62 coordinating pillows has definitely seen better days. If that couch could talk it would speak of the good days, the better days, the best of days, the not so great days and the absolute worst of days. So take a load off. Take a seat. Be still a quiet bit. 

Take a seat. Come this way. Our couch welcomes every day.

News of pregnancy announcements  shared. Babies nursed hours on end. 
Both naps and sleepless nights...it depends. 

The snuggles and cuddles with family held dear. Cozy date nights required and maybe a beer.

Hurry, grab popcorn and a glass of red wine. Family movie night has begun.
Mommy loves the one with the guy on the run.

Boys building forts and girls not allowed. Sometimes just one. Sometimes a crowd.

Charcoal mask on my face. Paint on my toes. Where's the remote? No one ever seems to know.

Read a book. Write a story. Phone a friend. 
Pay taxes. Check emails. Pay bills. Never ends. 

Writers nook. Make a list. What's for dinner? What to cook?

Stomach flu go away. Go sleep on the couch because you can not stay.

Seizures start. It's my turn to watch.
 You get tomorrow. We each do our part.

Tests results came back. Diagnosis made. 
Breathe deep. Say more prayers from where your head laid.

Work part-time if you have an interest. Instagram posts with lots of Pinterest.

Quiet devotions read. Just take a minute. Lazy coffee mornings with wine for the finish.

Carrying the weight of depression proves too much. 
Such is life. You can't love too much.

Posted on by A Laughing Matter · 2 Comments

A Better Place

It has almost been a month since Katie was discharged from the hospital. Knock on wood, she is in a much better place than she has been in the last few months. We have made more medication adjustments but very slowly to decrease side effects. She is eating more and sleeping better. Her balance has improved as well.

We had a follow up last week with Neurosurgery. We haven’t been followed by them since she had her VNS implanted. With the worries about changes in the brain and CT scans from her last hospital stay, we wanted to be sure all was well and no further testing would be needed. The appointment went well and he recommended she have another quick CT scan while we were already at Duke. He wanted a scan done while she was doing well to compare to the scans done in the hospital. Thank God! Thank you all for the prayers, cards, emails and meals. We really appreciate it.

We have one more appointment at the end of the month. This will be a follow-up with the GI/Liver doctor. I am certain they will get labs done to see how the liver enzymes are behaving. I’m sure the other main reason for the appointment is to check on her reflux issues and see if she has put on some weight in the past month.

Katie has been back in school full time since mid February. The restrictions have lightened a bit to allow some in-person learning for all grades. We will see if it sticks. Roy Cooper may decide to throw another curve ball. Last week Nathan got to go Thursday and Friday. For now, the plan for the remainder of the school year is to learn virtually M-W and attend class Thursdays and Fridays. If you ask him about it he will tell you in his words “this is exhausting”. I can’t say I blame him. Getting up at 5am to shower and put on real clothes to go sit in a classroom for hours does sound pretty exhausting. Especially after waking 15 minutes before class to log on to a virtual session. The commute is 20 feet from your bedroom, the snacks are endless and you get to use your very own private bathroom. Such is life. Pre, during and post pandemic – he can say he has experienced it all and he gives in-person learning 1 star.

Many have inquired how I’m doing. I am great actually. I am glad Katie seems to be heading in the right direction and restrictions are lightening up. I have been trying to get to the gym as much as I can. Virtual learning and doctor appointments have not been very conducive to getting back in shape. I am just happy my tiny gym is open. They are only open in the mornings and the class sizes are limited but its great just to have the option of going when I can. It is usually the same 5 or 6 of us that are consistent these days.

One young mom in our small crew is there every day for at least 2 hours. I call her Gym Barbie. Gym Barbie is golden blonde and very perky. She comes with matching workout clothes and glittery bag. In her bag you will find a Premier Chocolate Protein carton, earbuds, workout gloves, towel and gallon-sized turquoise water bottle with matching turquoise straw (very environmentally friendly). Other accessories included but are sold separately: white Land Rover, treadmill, free weights and more matchy match yoga/workout clothes and shoes. She’s adorable and very fit.

Then there is me. I definitely do not have my own Barbie inspiration. If fact I barely remember how to behave in social situations. I usually shlep my way in from the parking lot fumbling with my keys, water bottle and bag. My hair is in a curly knot on top of my head. My clothes do not match. My shoes do not match my workout clothes. My sweat towel does not match my clothes or shoes. My gym bag does not match my shoes, towel or workout clothes. I hop on the exact same treadmill each and every workout. To keep myself motivated I treated myself to wireless earbuds so I can watch TV on my phone while I’m on the treadmill. I would never make it through cardio otherwise.

My show of choice for these hour long cardio sessions has been Impractical Jokers. Yes, I know that makes me very mature. If you aren’t familiar, the premise of the show is 4 guys that grew up together film each other doing ridiculous pranks. They take turns for instance working at a fast food drive-thru or the reception desk of a doctor’s office with an earpiece and have to say what the others tell them to say. If you can’t say or do what they tell you, you lose. If you lose you are punished with doing something even more outrageous. I know it sounds dumb. It is dumb. I have the maturity of a teenage boy. But in the name of working out – whatever gets the job done is what gets the job done.

The only problem I have encountered in my routine is that I forget where I am some days. A few weeks ago, I was really feeling strong and pushing myself. I was definitely in the ZONE working out and watching my show. I was feeling good. Next thing I know there was a scene that got me so tickled that I cackle laughed, snorted, peed a little and then almost went flying the back of the treadmill. Good news it I managed to keep my balance and because I’m such a hot mess anyway no one even seemed to notice or care. Yay me!

That’s all I got this time, friends. Stay tuned. Anything can happen tomorrow. The possibilities are endless. Stay well.

Posted on by A Laughing Matter

Wearing Slippers…..to the gynecologist…

You heard me. I wore “house shoes” as my mother called them…..to the gynecologist. yup…I’m not proud. I was actually pretty mortified.

Here it is. The week of Thanksgiving. Just a mom trying to get one child on the bus and the other focused and ready for virtual learning. If get a workout in just after the bus comes, then it’s on to my side hustle; marketing Black Friday sales for a local small business.

All I know, I was trying to get a press release finished up before my annual…dreaded….ob/gyn appointment. It was at 2:15 but you know you should leave an hour early for the whole come-early-cuz-we-have-to-ask-if-you-have-diarrhea-and-take-your-temp…you know standard “Covid check 2020”. Even though I know they typically run half an hour late anyway, I am a girl that likes to be on time. It’s how I’m programmed.

So, back to the clock; I had showered, shaved…..I need to at least finish a rough draft of my press release, I need to leave early…..I need……..ahhh…eat lunch. I haven’t eaten lunch. It’s almost 2pm. I shoved down lunch and off I go. I find a great parking spot, I survive my CSI level Covid questioning. Temp is normal. Sticker on my boob. 97.6. Onward to 4th floor.

Destination OB/GYN. I check in. I’m a little bummed that all the magazines are gone. There is almost nothing better to a mom than a quiet reception lobby and a People magazine. No worries. I have a phone. I can check my email…….crossed my legs. Oh, shit. I am wearing slippers. SLIPPERS….To the gynecologist. I worked in a shower AND shaved my lady parts for this?! Yet, I am wearing slippers. To the gynecologist. Sigh.

But then….Thank you, Jesus! A man came in. A sweet, older black man came in and asked the receptionist. Actually, he told her “I know I’m in the right place! This is the urologist, right?” “Ummmm…no sir, this is a gynecologist office…”. That’s right. Ha ha! not the urologist. Ha! We all giggle. Then it is quiet. I don’t think anyone noticed my slippers but I definitely felt better after that.

Next, the nurse came to get me and I had to make my walk of shame to the back. She asked me to step on the scale. Then I made my confession and we both laughed. She gives me a gown and asks me to undress. I never know what the proper etiquette is for he OB. a when you take off your clothes do you fold them nicely on the extra chair. Do I hide my folded panties? Now that I’ve made it this far should I just leave my slippers on and just own it? Like a boss. Right up in the stirrups? It was tempting actually. It would only be funnier to not say a word about it. When all was said and done I took them off and carefully placed them on top of my folded panties to complete my clothing tower.

I wish this was my most embarrassing doctor moment but it doesn’t come close. See link below…

a 90’s thing Enjoy! I really should move or at least get new doctors.

Posted on by A Laughing Matter

A Covid Thanksgiving!

I’ll give you an easy out….this post is in good humor but I do mention Covid and Biden and even the Bible (WHAT?!) So if that offends you, off you go. The rest of you, have fun. I think we all need a laugh right now.

So I had my boobs checked today. Very important but equally uncomfortable at the same time. As I waited in my tiny changing room for Jessica AKA The Boob Crusher to come get me, I wrote a little poem. (Interestingly, I do a lot of writing at doctor offices and hospital rooms. That’s where I wrote Dream Big Henry!” Believe it or not, Thanksgiving is next week.

What’s Thanksgiving mean to you? For many of us, Thanksgiving usually includes feasting, four-day weekends, football, stretchy pants and a drunk Uncle. Oh and some quality time with our family and friends. For me, it’s also the gateway to Christmas festivities. You may now put up the tree and lights…..or turn on the ones you didn’t take down last year. Either way, proceed.

According to lore, Thanksgiving began as the celebration of a bountiful harvest. It was – and still is – a time to reflect and give thanks through a meal shared with friends and loved ones.

How does the Bible weigh in? This is possibly the best way to look at Thanksgving for 2020. I think we all need to hear this:

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the Peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Disclaimer: As we approach the holidays please continue to make good choices. Wear masks, wash your hands and don’t get right up in people’s space. Other than that, despite what any politician or the like tells you……there is not a single other thing you can do right now. So please, spend time with your family and be grateful for the time with them as you meditate on all your many blessings. Don’t stay home alone. It is a proven fact that we need fellowship. It’s a part of our DNA. We need each other. I fear any leader that says the opposite. That said, take a breather and stop being afraid to live. Like it or not, this is going to be around for a while. (If I’m raising your blood pressure, why have daycares been open this entire time?…hmmm. How much closer can you get to a petri dish than a daycare? Points to ponder. But yes, widespread fear in panic is where it’s at.)

Now to the fun part, after all that introduction….I didn’t write a thesis or anything novel-worthy. Just a poem. A poem written pre-mammogram in a tiny gown. A poem for you. A poem for me. A poem to be read in the cadence of Santa Claus in Coming to Town.

Ohhhhh......You better watch out,  you better not shout,
the Covid police are all about.
Biden's sending them to your home.

They see you when you're eating, they know you're having fun.
They know you can't make decisions, so he'll tell you how it's done.

Oh, wear that mask and wash those hands,
you thought you made Thanksgiving plans.
Biden's coming to ruin your day...."Come on man."

When Grandpa starts the carving and wants to say amen,
it better not be a turkey....
But just a little hen.
They recommend you zooming and staying home alone.
You may as well build that bunker, and sit your ass at home.

All kidding aside, I'm just having fun.
This year please remember, it's been quite the one.
So do your day as you wish,
and eat your favorite dish.
But don't forget to close the blinds,
Because the dems recommend that we snitch. (look it up)
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com
Posted on by A Laughing Matter

Let’s do this!

Start a blog, they say. You should really do one of those…you know. Blogs? Have you thought about it? Come on. Do it! Just try. You’re a great writer.

The truth is..yes, I have. Do I love to write? yes. The problem? I am not technical. At all. That said… it always feels daunting. Don’t bloggers need some sort of theme? What would I write about? How ’bout those foodie chics. You know the ones. They write a book-long intro about their organic garden and raw milk from their own cow. Which is awesome. Really. But…Damnit Carol just tell me how I can make my pot pie as creamy and delicious as yours. In 30 minutes. I don’t need a back story or the link to the pressure cooker you used. I just want the recipe, Carol. I’ve got things to do and milking my own cow is not one of them.

The good news is I don’t really have to be a professional and I don’t have to to teach or sell stuff or have links to affiliates or get subscribers. It can be a blog about anything. It can be a blog about nothing.

So there you have it. I’m here. I don’t know what I’m gonna write about but I promise it will entertain, make you think, make you cry….but mostly laugh. We could all laugh a little more and worry a little less.

If you are starting here, you are probably new. It’s nice to meet you. I journaled about my story in another format for a number of years (probably 5) so this is all new to me. That said, I recommend going to my Background page in the menu to get a little history on my daughter. From there go the Home page and scroll all the way down to the bottom and work your way back up. This will read more like a book and the posts will be in order of events.